i have never ever cried so hard in my life ever since like forever. i think it's just everything snowballing together. cried myself to sleep yesterday also cause i just felt so frustrated with everything. it's embarrassing how i just broke down in front of her and she was the only one who noticed my different behaviour. she was totally like "Joanna you're always full of energy attending my class and you always have things to share and chat with your friends but today its as if i'm seeing a different Joanna" wow my dam totally broke. i was fighting the urge to not cry for the whole 2 hours then when it ended i just couldnt stop crying for like 45 minutes. feel so paiseh i can't stop my tears and i spoke so incoherently because i was so full of sobs and hiccuping and i couldn't stop sniffing. apparently no one cared enough to ask am i okay except for sam they all. ya'll don't even know why the reason i'm late for the briefing... 

just so sick already but there's nothing i can do but just suck it up and idw her to go and talk to my supervisor because ya. i think it wasn't a decent grade but she kept comforting and saying that for mid appraisal it's already not a bad score. and i'm just like.. meh. maybe i'm an overachiever but i just don't feel satisfied. 

she thought i have other problems that's why i'm so different but i swear it's just this internshit. 

i'm am so thankful that at least there's someone listening to me. if you asked "eh then your parents lei" obviously you don't know me well enough.